Peter Young Writes For You

This column was originally published in the Central Western Daily on Tuesday 10th April 2012.

Dear Sam Worthington,

I paid to see your latest big screen venture, Wrath of the Titans, this week. In fact, I paid more than the standard ticket price. I also had to shell out an extra few bucks for a 3D surcharge. I’m not entirely sure why. I brought my own 3D glasses.

I guess you are about to explain to me that 3D digital projection technology is expensive and someone has to pay for its installation. Fair enough. Wait, aren’t normal 2D films also screened in the same cinema using the same projector? Are those 2D patrons also slugged a surcharge to help pay for the new equipment? I thought not.

I’d actually much prefer to be charged a Liam Neeson surcharge. I’d have no problem at all with that.

“I’m sorry Sir. This film features Liam Neeson. He’s a very serious actor you know. He can fight wolves with his bare fists and some shards of glass. He can make a threatening phone call that will make terrorists wet themselves. He has a commanding screen presence. Plus he’s just bought a new yacht. I’m afraid there will be a surcharge for this movie.”

I understand, Sam. What happens at the box office is out of your control. You’re job is just to act, which brings me to my next point.

I’ve checked your job description. Apparently acting requires the ability to become someone else. Not everyone has this skill, which is why filmmakers hire actors to appear in their films. This transformation into a character may even require actors to speak in a different accent.

So why is it, Mr Worthington, that no matter whether you are playing a blue skinned alien, a post-apocalyptic robotic assassin Terminator or an ancient Greek demigod, you seem to be have just stepped off a Qantas flight from Sydney? You’ve obviously learned combat and sword fighting skills to help you transform into Perseus, son of Zeus.  Is it too much to ask for a decent neutral English or American accent?

I pay to see your films because I love to see our local actors make it big in Hollywood. However, I already know that you are Australian. You don’t need to remind me every time you say something onscreen.

So please consider this letter to be some form of constructive feedback. Believe it or not, I did enjoy Wrath of the Titans. The creature effects were imaginative and well executed. I especially enjoyed the cameos from brilliant character actors Bill Nighy and Danny Huston, both sporting silly beards and random accents. The 3D was serviceable and not nearly as dark and muddy to the eye as the horrendous post-production 3D rendering of Clash of the Titans.

I look forward to your next film. May I suggest an Australian production next?

Sincerely,

PY