The Beach Boys are Back

This column was originally published in the Central Western Daily on Tuesday 5th June 2012.

Stop the presses! One of my favourite bands of all time is coming to our shores. To celebrate their 50th anniversary, The Beach Boys will play Sydney on August 30.

Sure, the band has toured Australia several times in recent years but with a stripped down line-up of original lead vocalist Mike Love and long time member Bruce Johnston (he joined four years after the inception of the band in 1965), along with a backing band.

For this year’s reunion tour, the three other surviving members of the group, Brian Wilson, Al Jardine and David Marks are returning to the fold and the results should be fun, fun, fun.

It’s been twenty years since musical genius Brian Wilson has worked with the band. Responsible for The Beach Boys sound and its multi layered instrumental arrangements and harmonies, Wilson has been recording and touring as a solo act since becoming estranged from the group in the eighties due to mental illness and drug abuse. I’ve seen Brian Wilson in concert twice now. Along with an exceptionally tight backing band he puts on an unforgettable show.

50th anniversary reunions mustn’t come cheap. Either that, or the boys’ superannuation accounts need a big top up. The Ultimate Meet and Greet Package for the Sydney gig will set you back just over $1200 per person. You’ll get a ticket in the first five rows, exclusive souvenirs, food, unlimited booze and a programme. But that’s not all, you’ll also get to meet members of The Beach Boys and have a personal photo with them. Good value? Who cares? This is a unique opportunity and I’d love the VIP experience, but the mortgage says no. Please send cheques care of the Central Western Daily.

A new studio album and single also accompanies the tour. Both are entitled, “That’s Why God Made the Radio”. Released yesterday worldwide, the new single features the classic harmonies that made the band famous.

If you’ve still got some spare cash lying around after you’ve bought your VIP concert package, a mere $500 will get you the new CD, a t-shirt, poster and a very limited edition uncut proof sheet of the album artwork signed by all five members of The Beach Boys.

If you prefer the old stuff, the legendary Smile album boxset, complete with a full size surfboard signed by Brian Wilson will set you back $6000. Don’t delay, according to The Beach Boys website, there are only five sets remaining.

My favourite album of all time is Pet Sounds. My favourite song is God Only Knows. What is a Beach Boys fan with a cash flow problem to do? Rhonda wasn’t able to help, but Visa certainly did.

I’m not in the first five rows for the gig, but I managed to get great seats. I won’t be meeting the band either but that’s OK. I’ve always felt that there was something a little grubby about paying for someone’s autograph. The CD and t-shirt are on their way from the US but my uncut artwork proof is sans signatures.

With any luck, the 50th anniversary Beach Boys album and Australian tour will be a once in a lifetime event. Considering the extortionate prices of tickets and merchandise, it better be.

The Beach Boys play Allphones Arena on August 30.

Published in: on June 6, 2012 at 07:33  Leave a Comment  
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There’s only One Direction and that’s towards obscurity

This column was originally published in the Central Western Daily on Tuesday 1st May 2012.

Am I the only one who doesn’t have a clue about One Direction? It seems that they simply appeared from nowhere. For about a week they dominated the media, including high brow broadsheet newspapers and every breakfast TV show on the air.

As a good columnist, I’ve done my research. One Direction is the latest boyband from somewhere overseas and every member is named Liam (pronounced “Lame”). They are also definitive proof that human cloning is underway.

I’ve had a listen to their debut album and as far as pop songs go, it’s completely inoffensive. The tunes are well written and catchy enough, although that’s more of a credit to the songwriters and auto-tune than the performers. The voices are nothing special but they blend together nicely.

The album cover and title puzzle me though. The picture on the sleeve shows the Liams all fresh faced and smiling, but the name of the record is Up All Night. I wish I looked like them when I’ve been up all night. I think a more appropriate album title for the cover art would be It’s Almost Recess.

On a recent trip to Sydney, I was shocked to come across the One Direction Official Merchandise Store in Pitt Street. Teenage girls were lining out the door to purchase t-shirts, shopping bags and badges adorned with the mugs of the Liams. You could even buy the complete doll set of the group for $200. I’m sure the store is a nice little earner for someone, probably One Direction’s manager. As far as I’m concerned, it would have been much more efficient to simply erect a big sign in front of the shop saying, “Attention teenyboppers, please drop your parents’ hard earned cash here.”

Apparently tickets for One Direction’s upcoming Australian arena tour have been selling like there’s no tomorrow. Most of the concerts are sold out and tickets have been appearing on ebay with huge mark-ups. If you are lucky enough to have acquired tickets, my advice is to sell, sell, sell. You see, the concert tour is scheduled for September 2013. That’s right, sixteen months from now.

Having survived the musical fads that were New Kids on the Block, Hanson, Backstreet Boys, Girlfriend, Bros, Milli Vanilli, Spice Girls, B*Witched and Daryl Somers, I’m pretty sure that the average peak popularity of these groups is less than a year. I did manage to avoid Bieber fever because I got vaccinated.

Whoever is pulling the strings on One Direction’s marketing is a genius. Make a fortune selling tickets now for concerts so far ahead in the future that it’s most likely that fans would have moved on to the next big thing by then. Trust me girls, list your precious tickets on ebay now because you’ll probably be giving them away next year. Use your profits to buy shares in a boyband marketing company.

It won’t be so bad for the Liams when One Direction inevitably fade into obscurity. They’ll still be young enough to go back and finish school. Primary school, that is.

Published in: on April 30, 2012 at 15:19  Leave a Comment  
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Farewell Whitney, Dr House… Hello Steve Winwood

This column was originally published in the Central Western Daily on Tuesday 14th February 2012.

This past weekend brought the news of Whitney Houston’s untimely passing. When Michael Jackson died on June 25 2009, the pay TV music stations ceased their regular programming and switched to non-stop Jackson videos. This did not happen with Houston. I’m not particularly surprised. Although arguably as big in the late eighties as The King of Pop, Houston’s days as a viable creative or commercial act were long behind her.

I only own one Whitney Houston CD. I bought it in 1987 with the money I had saved from collecting aluminium cans. I lost interest soon after. In Whitney, that is, not in collecting cans for money. Most of her fans from the eighties probably did the same.

It is always sad when drugs claim a life, regardless of whether they were famous. In Whitney’s case, it is such a waste. The knockout voice had departed but she had real potential for a comeback as an actress. Although I don’t care for the film or Kevin Costner, Houston was showed charisma in The Bodyguard.

 

Why is it that every time I go to the new supermarket, they are playing Steve Winwood’s 1986 hit Higher Love? I hadn’t heard it for years, and then in the space of a few days, twice I’ve found myself singing along as I wander the aisles. They’ve obviously done their research. Somewhere in the world, lab technicians in white coats are testing the effects of Huey Lewis on the shopping habits of rats. Well, the Winwood certainly made me increase my expenditure. Unfortunately for the supermarket, I just bought my usual stuff and then went home to order a copy of Steve Winwood’s greatest hits CD online.

 

Fox announced the cancellation of House last week. After eight seasons, this current one will be the last. As far as I’m concerned, the show had flatlined years ago. Recent ratings would suggest that most people agree with me. There is no doubt that the acerbic Gregory House will go down as one of the great TV doctors of all time, brought to life by the brilliant Hugh Laurie (although someone should have taught him to hold his walking stick in the correct hand).

Although it initially made for fascinating viewing, House was very formulaic. If you were one of Doctor House’s patients, you might want to get another physician. You are guaranteed to get a little better, then much worse, then a little better, then much, much worse, whilst House’s team of medicos misdiagnose you over and over again on a clear perspex whiteboard. Eventually, you’ll survive but only after lots of convulsing.

As ratings began to slide, the producers and writers resorted to more outlandish and silly storylines. Dr House goes to the mental asylum. He finally gets together with Cuddy but they hit turbulence which results in House driving his car into her, er, house. He goes to goal and jumps over a shark whilst waterskiing.

If there are two things I’ve learnt from watching TV, it’s to leave town when Jessica Fletcher arrives, because someone is going to die, and to avoid being admitted to Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital (House) or Seattle Grace Mercy West Hospital (Grey’s Anatomy). The medical staff are incompetent or way too distracted with each other to keep you alive. Try Eastman Medical Center and ask for Doogie Howser, M.D.

Published in: on February 14, 2012 at 06:33  Leave a Comment  
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Wigglegate: Sam dropped like a Hot Potato

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This column was originally published in the Central Western Daily on Tuesday 24th January 2012.

There’s no business like show business. With the recent Wigglegate controversy, it shouldn’t be forgotten that for every part “show”, there is an equally important “business” component.

Last week’s dismissal of replacement Wiggle, Sam Moran, after five years in the iconic yellow skivvy, has brought condemnation from fans, and their parents, worldwide. Allegedly Moran’s contract was about to expire and it simply wasn’t renewed. Greg Page, the original yellow Wiggle, was back in good health and has returned. The original lineup is back together. What’s the problem?

The average span of a child’s interest in all things Wiggle can only be a couple of years before they move onto other things such as, um, Voltron and He-Man. I may be showing my age here. If your kids are going to fret that Sam has disappeared, just play the DVDs and CDs from Moran’s five year tenure over and over again. Isn’t that what they’re for anyway?

Replacing key performers in popular acts is nothing new. Several years after the original Brady Bunch TV series was cancelled, the cast was reunited for the disastrous (but somehow fantastically kitsch) Brady Bunch Variety Hour. Everyone returned, except for the original Jan Brady, Eve Plumb, who wisely stayed away. She was replaced by Geri Reischl for the short lived series.

Several years later, a sitcom The Brady Brides was aired, followed by a dramedy The Bradys. Eve Plumb returned for both and “Fake Jan” was never heard from again.

When Curly Howard of The Three Stooges had a stroke, he was replaced by his real life brother, Shemp. After he passed away from a heart attack (presumably from too many pokes in the eye), he too was replaced by not one, but eventually two “Curly Joes”. Nyuk Nyuk Nyuk!

Fellow Australian children’s entertainers Hi-5 seem to be changing their lineup continuously. Unlike the Wiggles, they are contracted performers and don’t own their act. As employees, they can be sacked just like you and me. Fortunately, my contract doesn’t require me to smile twenty four hours a day.

The resurrected Young Talent Time premiered this past Sunday night with a brand new line up of teeny bopper team members. If the show follows the format of the original series, team members get the boot when they are sixteen. Did anyone bother to inform new cast member Georgia-May? According to the official website, she is already sixteen. Assuming the show survives more than one season, Georgia-May’s run might be extremely short lived. Goodnight Australia!

I’m happy to admit that the TV interviews with the “new” old Wiggles have been pretty poor. If I was their manager, I certainly would never let them in front of TV cameras unscripted (and without a dancing octopus) again. Their apparent non-caring attitude towards the outgoing Sam has tarnished their squeaky clean reputation.  A simple explanation of the dismissal as a business decision would have potentially avoided the controversy.

An even better option, in my opinion, would have been to announce that the Wiggles are actually a group of Time Lords. Five years ago, the yellow one regenerated after defeating the Cybermen and last week, the Daleks forced him to regenerate again.

Alternatively, you could claim that the yellow Wiggle is a magical scarecrow who can remove his head and replace it with another, just like Worzel Gummidge. On second thoughts, stick with the Time Lord excuse.

Published in: on January 25, 2012 at 07:02  Leave a Comment  
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Rewind Festival Wound Up

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This column was originally published in the Central Western Daily on Tuesday 25th October 2011.

A few weeks ago I penned a column about the upcoming Rewind Festival, a two day music festival featuring an array of eighties acts planned for this coming weekend. Last Monday came the announcement that the event had been cancelled. There’s no doubt that this decision was due to poor ticket sales. This is bad news for the few who had purchased tickets and now have to scramble for refunds, and whilst the notion of a retro festival appears attractive, there are plenty of reasons why Rewind was doomed to fail from the beginning.

Firstly, the planned event location was too far from a major city to be viable. Bluescope Field in Kembla Range, near Wollongong, may have been an acceptable site for campers, however, for day ticket holders, who would have been the majority of attendees, the distance to travel was too great.

As the event date drew closer, an attempt was made to shift Rewind to the Hordern Pavilion. This is a good indication of how much the promoter’s expectations fell as ticket sales stalled. Bluescope Field has a maximum capacity of 30000 compared to the Hordern’s 5500. A promotion for two tickets for the price of one a month before the event was another ominous sign that sales were not going well.

I decided not to attend the festival as I didn’t fancy camping out in the elements, particularly if rain turned the grounds to mud. Perhaps my thoughts were indicative of the majority of Rewind’s demographic, Generation X’ers. I now find it difficult to stand through a regular two hour or so concert. There’s no way my knees would make it through a two day festival. Bring on the comfortable chairs and hotel rooms.

I also think that the night time is the right time for concerts. Darkness adds a ferly atmosphere to a gig and many of the Rewind acts were unfortunately scheduled to play under the sun.

The Rewind Festival has previously been a success in the UK. Of course, they have a much bigger population and a longer tradition of music festivals. In Australia, the festival scene is highly competitive. With The Big Day Out, Homebake and Splendour by the Grass soaking up the majority of festival dollars, smaller festivals have to virtually sell out to be feasible.

A strong Aussie dollar compared to the greenback also makes Australia more attractive to overseas based acts. Defunct eighties and nineties performers are reforming to cash in on an increasing demand and interest in all things retro. The successful Day on the Green franchise proves that Baby Boomers and Generation X’ers will pay top dollar to see quality retro acts alongside contemporary artists. Of course, most of these retro performers have a deep back catalogue of hits, which is more than could be said for most of the artists on the Rewind Festival bill.

The rise of MTV in the eighties led to many iconic music videos. These classic clips have been on constant rotation on TV ever since. Why would I want to see a much older Bananarama lip synch their way on a sparse stage through their biggest hit, Venus, when I can watch a much spunkier and younger group from the comfort of my living room?

So another music festival bites the dust. It’s a pity really. I would suggest to the promoters that an arena tour of the capital cities with a rapid fire format similar to the Countdown Spectacular concerts in 2006/07 would have been a much better choice.

Published in: on October 27, 2011 at 01:26  Comments (2)  
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Encore Encore

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This column was originally published in the Central Western Daily on Tuesday 27th September 2011.

I was fortunate enough this weekend to catch the sold out Tom Burlinson show, Now We’re Swingin’ at the Civic Theatre. Accompanied by a tight eight piece band, Burlinson was in fine voice and proved why he was chosen to provide the voice of Frank Sinatra for the Australian film The Night We Called It a Day.

After two acts of smooth swing standards, Burlinson took his final bow to a rapturous audience, walked off the stage and then immediately returned for an encore. Although well deserved, it was a little disappointing to not get the opportunity to clap, roar and make some noise to at least feel as if we demanded the encore.

Traditionally, the encore was an unplanned event. In olden times, the appreciative audience at an opera, Shakespearean play or hanging would holler and scream until the performer returned to give them some more.

Nowadays, modern audiences expect an encore and it is most certainly planned as part of the set list. Have you ever wondered if it is really possible that your favourite artist has forgotten to play their most popular song, said goodnight and wandered off to their tour bus for an early night in? And then the concert venue staff have neglected to turn the house lights back on?

I’m pretty sure that an encore is part of the contract for most rock and pop live performances. If it is inevitable, why bother with the charade?

I once left a school dance early to check out 90’s indie rockers Ratcat at Patrick’s Nightclub in Pennant Hills. I was already eighteen by this time, but none of my friends were, so when my mate Clive was turned away at the door by security, I ventured in to the club on my own. Towards the end of the set, lead singer, Simon Day, announced that they were obliged to do an encore but, with the audience’s permission, would just play a few extra songs. Nobody objected.

Apparently Elvis never played encores. The cliché, “Elvis has left the building” was the announcement made in concert halls to let audiences know that The King was not coming back. I guess that extra song or two would be a waste of good eating time, especially when fried banana and peanut butter sandwiches are involved.

The not-so-spontaneous encore is not limited to pop and rock acts. During the most recent Australian tour of The Boy From Oz, Todd McKenney would emerge following the curtain call in his dressing gown and not much else to sing a Peter Allen tune as himself, not Peter Allen. With a mostly grey haired demographic in the audience, it obviously went down extremely well. There wasn’t a dry seat in the house.

The modern encore is an outdated performance tool which has grown stale. I guess that says a lot about live music nowadays. With mega light and sound shows controlled via computers, there is not much room for spontaneity. Would you like to read more? Too bad, I’ve left the building.

Published in: on October 17, 2011 at 05:15  Leave a Comment  
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Nineties Retro Revival

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This column was originally published in the Central Western Daily on Tuesday 23rd August 2011.

I had the pleasure of catching up with three of my favourite early nineties bands this past weekend. Almost twenty years had passed since their commercial heyday but a packed Enmore Theatre is clear evidence that there is a demand out there for revived and revamped retro acts.

First up were Australian alternative darlings The Clouds. Formed in Sydney in 1990, they were renown for the trademark female harmonies of lead singers Jodi Phillis and Trish Young. I’m pleased to report that both were in fine voice and the band sounded as tight as the last time I saw them at one of the very first Big Day Out festivals, way back when it didn’t sell out in one day and I was young enough to not be annoyed by so many young people there.

In a short and sharp forty minute set, The Clouds had the mostly thirty-something crowd moving with all of their hits, including Say It, Soul Eater, Bower of Bliss and my favourite, Hieronymus. I loved the latter so much that I named my dog after it. Hieronymus Young still lives in Sydney with my parents.

Next up were UK alternative rock icons, The Wonder Stuff. Best known in Australia for their 1991 hit collaboration with Vic Reeves on lead vocals, Dizzy, the band released a string of popular albums between 1986 and 1994 including The Eight Legged Groove Machine, Hup and Never Loved Elvis. With charismatic red wine swilling front man Miles Hunt and original guitarist Mal Treece onboard, the rest of the band’s personnel have changed since they last toured Australia in 1991.

An hour long set breezed by as The Wonder Stuff pumped out favourite after favourite, including Unbearable, Circlesquare and The Size of a Cow at a million miles an hour. My mildly arthritic knees are still sore from all of the jumping up and down that seems to be the dance move of choice in a general admission crowd situation. Why can’t we all just sway?

Headlining the show were Jesus Jones, a London based group who formed in 1988. Their biggest hit, Right Here, Right Now, has set the band up financially after its use in multitudes of advertising campaigns worldwide. Remarkably, the band’s lineup has not changed over the years, and they have never stopped touring.

In their distinct, rock fused with techno style, Jesus Jones delivered all of the hits and more, including Real, Real, Real and International Bright Young Thing. They last toured Australia in 1990, and I’m certain that except for an upgrade for their musical programming from floppy disc to hard drive, they sound exactly the same.

After a well deserved encore from the headliners, the show was over and the appreciative crowd poured out into the streets of Newtown bound for a nice cup of tea before bed. Well, we’re all quite a bit older now.

For a few short hours this weekend, the early nineties were back. I was studying for my HSC. Mickey Robbins and Helen Razer were hosting the Triple J breakfast show which I tuned into religiously in my mum’s station wagon as I drove to high school on my P plates. Kurt Cobain was still alive and life was good.

It doesn’t take much to work out that Generation X is all cashed up and looking for a retro good time. With Roxette, Bachelor Girl and 1927 reforming for reunion gigs soon and the upcoming Rewind festival, the interest in all things nineties is huge so expect to see other long dead acts be resuscitated for your enjoyment.

Published in: on August 23, 2011 at 07:27  Leave a Comment  
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Novelty Acts: are we laughing at them or with them?

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This column was originally published in the Central Western Daily on Tuesday 2nd August 2011.

I’m not really a fan of talent shows on television. I haven’t watched a single second of the current season of Australia’s Got Talent. I suppose I don’t really fit the demographic for buying records from fourteen year old singing prodigies. If I do have to watch American Idol or such shows, I prefer to sit through the first few episodes which cover the initial audition process. There is something quite fascinating to me about those talentless contestants who face the audition panel with nothing but an overwhelming sense of self-belief.

Do these wannabes truly think that they have a talent that they must share with the world? Surely they can’t be completely delusional. Hasn’t someone taken them aside and told them the ugly truth? “Look mate, I don’t really know how to tell you. You can’t sing / dance / play the gumleaf.”

Every now and then, one of these “gifted” performers slips through the net of good taste and becomes a star of sorts. A novelty single or album gets quickly released. Someone makes a buck, usually the manager or producer, the performer’s fifteen seconds or so of fame expires and we all move on. We were all in on the joke. They weren’t. Or were they?

William Hung rose to infamy when he auditioned for the third season of American Idol in 2004 with an off-tempo and off-key rendition of Ricky Martin’s She Bangs, prompting an uncomfortable situation where the judges had to stifle their laughter and present some level of constructive criticism. When informed by Simon Cowell that he really had little to offer in the way of talent, Hung replied, “Um, I already gave my best, and I have no regrets at all.”

This “glass half full” attitude somehow struck a chord with audiences, despite the fact that in terms of singing ability Hung had no glass in the first place, and William was signed to a record deal. What followed was three, that’s three, albums of Hung murdering perfectly innocent pop covers. Inspiration, Hung for the Holidays and Miracle: Happy Summer from William Hung are all CDs worth listening to… once, and would all make wonderful additions to your coaster collection.

Hung’s misplaced belief in his singing prowess is evident in the fact that he clearly recorded three albums of unfamiliar songs with little or no rehearsal, and all probably in one take.

Speaking of one take wonders, have you sampled the vocal stylings of New Zealand’s own Wing? Born in Hong Kong, 51 year old Wing has never let a lack of talent stop her from making records, twenty of them to date. From Andrew Lloyd Webber to AC/DC, Michael Jackson to Abba, Wing has recorded them all in her unique offbeat vocal style (think cats fighting outside your bedroom window).

As Wing’s notoriety spread via the internet, she became the subject of a South Park episode and was invited to perform at a BBC Radio One music festival in the UK in 2008. She later toured the US, even playing the famous Birdland Jazz Club in New York City.

For around US$15, Wing will phone you up and personally sing you a song. It is already on my Christmas wish list.

Throughout all of Wing’s recordings and performances, there is not a single hint that it may be all a gag. Regardless of the song, Wing performs it seriously. What won’t be serious though, is your reaction. Make sure you check out her performances on YouTube.

Wing has truly made a little go a long way, and has had a remarkable career so far, especially for a novelty act. And that I suppose is my point, do Wing and William Hung know that they are novelty acts? Is self-belief, or even self-delusion, enough? Are we laughing at them, or is the joke on us? I guess we’ll never know. The only certainty is that I shouldn’t have admitted to owning William Hung albums.

http://wingmusic.co.nz

http://www.williamhung.net

Published in: on August 14, 2011 at 09:03  Leave a Comment  
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Weird Al Rules

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This column was originally published in the Central Western Daily on Tuesday 19th July 2011.

It’s hard to believe but pop satirist and accordion player, “Weird Al” Yankovic, released his 13th album, Alpocalypse, this year. With more than 12 million records sold over a career spanning 35 years, Yankovic has mostly outlasted and in some cases, outsold, the pop music artists that were the basis for his amusing parodies.

Born Alfred Matthew Yankovic in 1959 (he turns 52 this year), “Weird Al’ released his first official single on Capitol Records in 1976. It was a parody of The Knack’s My Sharona, reworked as My Balogna. This was followed by Another One Rides the Bus, a send up of Queen’s Another One Bites the Dust. From there, as they say, the rest is history.

Yankovic’s career particularly benefitted from the emergence of MTV in the early eighties. His hilarious music video for Eat It, a parody of Beat It by one hit wonder Michael Jackson, was virtually a shot-for shot remake of the original clip and was placed on high rotation, becoming one of Al’s biggest selling singles.

No-one seemingly was safe from Weird Al’s focus. Major acts such as Madonna (Like a Surgeon), Nirvana (Smells Like Nirvana), Green Day (Canadian Idiot), Red Hot Chilli Peppers (Bedrock Anthem) and Michael Jackson (a second parody, Fat) were satirised alongside flash in the pan acts such as Coolio (Amish Paradise), The Presidents of the United States of America (Gump), Billy Ray Cyrus (Achy Breaky Song) and The Offspring (Pretty Fly for a Rabbi).

In the USA, permission is not required to record a parody of a song, however, Yankovic generally seeks permission from the original artist before working his magic. Many recording acts consider it an honour to be satirised by Al. His latest single, a spin on Lady Gaga’s Born This Way, entitled Perform This Way (the video is fantastic, check it out on YouTube) was initially refused permission by her management. When Gaga, reportedly a huge fan, found out that a decision had been made without consulting her, Weird Al was given the go ahead.

Not everyone wants the Yankovic treatment though. Vegetarian Paul McCartney did not want Live and Let Die to become Chicken Pot Pie. James Blunt’s management didn’t like the idea of You’re Beautiful being made into You’re Pitiful.

My favourite song on every Weird Al album is his polka medley. This is where he takes a dozen or so chart hits at the time of recording and recreates them as a thigh slapping, lederhosen friendly polka, complete with tubas and piano accordions. As my high school’s resident DJ in the early 90’s, I’d quite often turn school dances into Octoberfest by playing Yankovic’s Polka Your Eyes Out.

I had the pleasure of catching Weird Al’s live show earlier this year from the front row of the Enmore Theatre. More of a live theatrical performance than a concert, Al changed costume between almost every song. This meant that there were long gaps between tunes, which were filled with amusing videos, but after a while it became clear that the show was far from spontaneous. His band was amazing, with some members being with Al from the beginning of his career. Their ability to reproduce almost any style of music was uncanny.

With a career almost as long as my life so far, “Weird Al” Yankovic will hopefully be around to poke fun at the ultra serious music industry for many years to come. When the funniest thing in music these days is Justin Bieber, it is good to know that the Clown Prince of Pop is around.

Published in: on August 14, 2011 at 08:53  Leave a Comment  
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Why aren’t cassettes collectible?

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This column was originally published in the Central Western Daily on Tuesday 3rd May 2011.

When it comes to music, many people have an affinity for vinyl. The gatefold sleeve is the perfect size to appreciate the cover artwork and design. The music somehow sounds more alive to the ears. And halfway through the album, you get to have a short intermission as you turn the record over.

For me though, growing up in the late seventies and eighties, the music format of my childhood was the cassette. There certainly was a record player at my home in Olola Avenue but placing the needle on the record was all a little too challenging for my coordination at the time. Playing records at the wrong speed was amusing for a while. Everything played too fast sounded like The Chipmunks, with the exception, of course, of The Chipmunks.

History has shown that cassettes were anything but collectable. They were small and cheap looking. Their size reduced any fantastic album art into a postage stamp and they tended to warp into a twisted mess when left in the sun on the dashboard on a hot summer day. And every now and then, the tape player would decide to eat the cassette, spilling the precious brown stringy contents of Through the Roof ’83 everywhere.

There are several notable cassettes that I remember fondly from my childhood. Despite my assertion that tapes aren’t collectible, I still have these gems packed safely aware somewhere. I’d love to update them to CD but so far I am yet to find them anywhere. I can’t enjoy the cassettes either because, just like a VHS player, I don’t have a tape deck anymore.

Magic Monkey was a soundtrack album to accompany the classic ABC series Monkey Magic. Released in 1978, it features the music of the Japanese band Godiego. My favourite tracks were the closing credit song, Gandhara, and the catchy theme song. I still can recite every word of the title sequence monologue. “In the worlds before monkey…” I’ve seen no sign of this album on CD even though the complete Monkey Magic series has been released on DVD.

The Disco craze in the late seventies didn’t last long. In fact, it came and went faster than The Village People movie, Can’t Stop the Music, could be written, filmed and released. But that’s another column, plus I own the soundtrack on CD. I may regret admitting that. Disco still managed to trickle down to children’s records and that brings me to two cassette classics.

Mickey Mouse Disco was released in 1979. It sold two million copies at the time, peaking at 35 in the US charts. Featuring vomit inducing disco versions of Disney staples such as Chim Chim-Cheree and It’s a Small World, it is pure saccharine. I’d love to cruise down Summer Street with my windows down pumping this album out. Alas, it is out of print in all physical formats.

Not wanting to miss out on the Disco dollars, the Children’s Television Workshop (and the letter C) released Sesame Disco in 1979 as well. Featuring Disco Frog, sung my Kermit the Frog and the English language destroying Me Lost Me Cookie at the Disco sung by Cookie Monster, the album is a hoot and now impossible to find. Me miss me album of Disco.

My final MIA album is Father Abraham and the Smurfs. Unleashed upon the world in 1977, selling half a million copies, this album pairs the titular blue creatures with bearded Dutch singer Pierre Kartner. The Smurf Song from the album went to number one in sixteen countries, but my favourite track is Smurfing Beer (you don’t get drunk and it isn’t dear).

I’d also like to mention that there are several Young Talent Time albums on my must find list as well as two classics where the casts of A Country Practice and Neighbours attempt to sing popular songs, but I don’t want anyone to think I have bad taste in music.

Published in: on May 9, 2011 at 13:31  Comments (1)  
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