Film Review: The Last Stand

This column was originally published in the Central Western Daily on Tuesday 12th February 2013.

In July 1994, Arnold Schwarzenegger had his hand and shoeprints immortalised in concrete outside the iconic Mann’s Chinese Theatre on Hollywood Boulevard. Below his name is scrawled the Austrian Oak’s most famous catchphrase, “I’ll be back.” Following a disappointing “final” performance as Prince Hapi in the rather terrible Around the World in 80 Days, it was unclear if Schwarzenegger would return to the silver screen following his eight year service as Governor of California, which concluded in 2011. I’m pleased to say that Arnie has lived up to his word and will indeed be gracing our multiplexes with five new films over the next two years starting with The Last Stand.

Warming up with two cameos in the either-love-them-or-hate-them The Expendables series (for the record, I love them), Schwarzenegger is the marquee attraction once again under the direction of Korean Jee-woon Kim (responsible for the haunting I Saw the Devil). Arnie plays Sheriff Ray Owens, an ex-LAPD narcotics officer, who has retreated to the sleepy town of Sommerton Junction, Arizona for the quiet life. As you do. How many Austrian ex-LAPD narcotics officer sheriffs do you know?

When Mexican drug lord Gabriel Cortez, played by Eduardo Noriega (The Devil’s Backbone), escapes from FBI custody, only the Governator and a bunch of local characters stand between Cortez and the Mexican border, as the fugitive races towards them in a modified Chevrolet Corvette under pursuit from Forest Whitaker’s bumbling Agent John Bannister. Chaos ensues. And it’s good chaos.

The Last Stand has been rated MA 15+ in Australia and I’m not surprised. Despite a silly storyline and the presence of plenty of humour, the gun violence is bloody and explicit. Heads explode. Many blood squibs were sacrificed during the making of the film. It’s a good thing that Arnie has publically stated that he doesn’t believe that there is a parallel between film and real gun violence because if there was ever a convincing argument that the stockpiling of weapons in case of emergency is a good idea, The Last Stand is it.

Clearly Schwarzenegger has chosen to ease himself back into acting by taking on an undemanding role, a past-his-prime lawman. Many of the jokes revolve around Arnie being worn out and old. Surrounding himself with solid character actors also helps to overcome any acting rust (or is it sawdust?). Luis Guzmán and Johnny Knoxville are fun as the comic foils. Knoxville seems to be forging himself a career playing “simple” characters. Between his Jackass films and his acting credits, I’m not convinced he actually is acting. Whitaker is collecting a paycheck but brings a gravitas to his FBI agent who is always a step behind the drug lord’s henchmen, lead by the menacing Peter Stormare, of Prison Break fame.

The Last Stand is not ground breaking but will satisfy action fans who yearn for a return to the hard hitting action flicks of the eighties. The titular last stand is completely bonkers and well worth the wait.

Arnie is back. Relax, de-engage brain, hear the lamentation of the women and enjoy.

The Last Stand opens on February 21.

Published in: on February 18, 2013 at 10:56  Leave a Comment  
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FIlm Review: Zero Dark Thirty

This review was originally published on The Orange Post on Sunday 17th February 2013.

Kathryn Bigelow’s follow up to her Oscar winning The Hurt Locker begins with a black screen accompanied by recordings of real phone calls made by doomed workers trapped in the World Trade Centre in 2001. This disturbing moment sets the agenda for Zero Dark Thirty and for the next 150 minutes, the film, just like its protagonist, CIA analyst Maya, never loses sight of its target.

 Zero Dark Thirty is an almost perfect example of the procedural format of storytelling. Used widely in television in popular programs such as CSI, NCIS and Bones, as well as recent Oscar contender Lincoln, the procedural chronologically follows an event, usually a crime, through to its conclusion. In the case of Zero Dark Thirty, the original script was set to depict the unsuccessful decade-long efforts to hunt down Osama bin Laden. His actual capture and death in 2011 prompted Bigelow to change her film, ultimately into a much satisfying experience as far as I am concerned. Despite knowing what happens at the end, I was on the edge of my seat during the final sequences of the film.

Jessica Chastain, Oscar nominated for her performance here, plays Maya, a green CIA agent, fresh out of high school, whose sole mission over her brief career is to find “UBL”. Despite changing US Presidents, Governments and CIA bosses, each with different priorities and approaches to world politics, Maya clings to her scraps of evidence and information. Chastain appears in almost every scene in the film and delivers a powerful, magnetic performance that will win her the Best Actress Oscar.

Supporting her onscreen is an impressive quartet of US based Aussie actors. Callan Mulvey and brothers Joel and Nash Edgerton play three of the efficient Seal Team Six, who carry out the final mission in Pakistan. Jason Clarke (Lawless) is impressive as Dan, a CIA agent who will do anything to extract information from his captives.

Between Zero Dark Thirty and Lincoln, it seems that every respected US male actor had a gig last year. Mark Strong (Tinker Sailor Soldier Spy) and Kyle Chandler (Super 8) head up the mega male heavy cast. Only Torchwood’s John Barrowman puzzled in a cameo that probably would only be noticed by Doctor Who fans.

Much ado has been made in the media of the portrayal of torture in the film. I must profess to being slightly naive in regards to this prior to my Zero Dark Thirty experience, having no idea what waterboarding meant. All I can say that it’s uncomfortable to watch but depicted onscreen with no political agenda whatsoever.

Zero Dark Thirty is a tense, cold film that will grip you right to the very end. With many scenes taking place at night, it begs to be experienced at the cinema. See it now. It is the finest film of the year so far.

Published in: on February 18, 2013 at 10:51  Leave a Comment  
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Razzies Form Guide 2013

This column was originally published in the Central Western Daily on Tuesday 19th February 2013.

It’s the movie awards season again and my favourite ceremony will take place in Hollywood on February 23. Celebrating the worst in film, the Golden Raspberry Foundation (of which I am proud member and voter) will award the Razzies, gold spray painted plastic trophies worth $7.50 each, to cinematic clunkers and wooden performances that have horrified audiences over the past year. I’ve just submitted my voting form so here are my choices from the cream of the rancid crop.

My Worst Picture: Battleship I would only play a board game if there was nothing else to do. And that includes sleeping, pushing hot needles into my eyeballs and watching that Gangnam Style music video again. I feel very much the same way about movies that are based on video games and feature robots onscreen. By this I mean Brooklyn Decker and Taylor Kitsch attempting to “act” and Liam Neeson in permanent grizzled mode, not the Transformers-style robot baddies.

My Worst Actress: Kristen Stewart Ah, the many facial expressions of K Stew. There’s bored. And, well, that’s it. The fact that she was outacted by a bizarre CGI head stuck on a baby in the last instalment of the Twiglet saga and made Chris Hemsworth’s attempt at a Scottish accent seem competent in Snore White and the Huntsman, means that the gong should go to this dynamic, versatile actress.

My Worst Actor: Eddie Murphy Why does Eddie keep going back to the turgid family friendly well? Two words: contractual obligation. His latest disaster A Thousand Words mercifully bypassed Australian cinemas but can be found in a bargain bin near you. Murphy plays a slimy literary agent whose interactions with a spiritual guru result in the appearance of a magical tree. For each word he speaks, one leaf falls off the tree. When the final leaf falls, who cares? Cherish your family blah blah blah.

My Worst Supporting Actress: Brooklyn Decker   Former model Ms Decker followed up her nomination in the Worst Screen Couple category (alongside Adam Sandler) at last year’s Razzies for Just Go with It, with a dual nomination for her wooden efforts in Battleship and pregnancy comedy What to Expect When You’re Expecting. I couldn’t bring myself to see the latter movie. I suppose I knew what to expect: dross. I do, however, like What to Expect When You’re Expecting for its assistance with my word count.

My Worst Supporting Actor: Liam Neeson How do you follow up the laughable but action packed The Grey and the action packed but laughable Taken 2? Why not reprise your role as Zeus in the beardtastic Wrath of the Titans and play the humourless Admiral Shane in Battleship? I guess we all have to eat. Shakespearean actors Vanilla Ice and David Hasselhoff are also nominated in this category but nothing compares to a great thespian knowingly slumming it in terrible films.

And the rest…

My Worst Screen Couple: Robert Patterson and Kristen Stewart (Twiglet)

My Worst Director: Peter Berg (Battleship)

My Worst Screen Ensemble: The Entire Cast of Battleship

My Worst Screenplay: Battleship

There goes my sponsorship from Hasbro. The winning losers will be announced on Oscars eve.

Published in: on February 18, 2013 at 10:48  Leave a Comment  
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Halloween Film Franchises

This column was originally published in the Central Western Daily on Tuesday 30th October 2012.

As All Hallows’ Eve approaches, it’s time to don your spookiest costume, carve a pumpkin and visit strangers’ houses demanding food, because I’m about to perform a scary autopsy on Halloween film franchises.

Last week I reviewed the original Halloween film series which introduced serial slasher and horror film icon Michael Myers to the world. Beginning with the original John Carpenter classic in 1978 and concluding with a whimper in 2002, a total of eight films were unleashed upon cinema audiences at around the same time of the year, Halloween.

Several years later, the torch was passed to a ventriloquist’s dummy named Billy with a penchant for riding tricycles. In 2003, Australian filmmakers James Wan and Leigh Wannell managed to convince American backers to fund a low budget horror film to be shot in just 18 days. On October 29 the following year, the movie grossed over $100 million at the box office from a budget of $1 million. Welcome to the Saw franchise.

The Saw films centre around John Cramer, a genius engineer who is dying from cancer. After an attempt at suicide fails, he reassesses his existence and finds a new purpose, testing others to value their own lives with deadly physical challenges. Cramer then takes on a new moniker, Jigsaw.

Just like the Halloween series, the original film is the best, with a killer (pun intended) twist at the end. The subsequent six sequels, including a final instalment in 3D and all released on the Friday before Halloween, vary in quality. What remains consistent throughout the series is the cleverness of the deadly challenges placed on unsuspecting (and not so innocent) victims which usually result in painful and bloody deaths. Most of the challenges involve lethal mechanical devices which are a testament to Jigsaw’s maniacal but brilliant mind. They also suggest he had a lot of time on his hands.

Also impressive is the layering of the storylines. With Jigsaw killed off in Saw III, the filmmakers had to come up with a smart way to keep his legacy alive. There are various apprentices, as well as a brilliant conceit which sees two of the sequels taking place simultaneously. This is not revealed until the end of Saw IV (oops, spoiler alert).

By the time Saw 3D was released in 2010, audience enthusiasm for the franchise had waned and producers announced that there would be no further entries (for now). Of course that paved the way for a new Halloween film franchise. Enter Paranormal Activity.

If you’ve ever harboured an ambition to be a security guard in a big building, then this is the series for you. Mostly consisting of security camera footage, the movies focus on the premise that setting up cameras when you suspect your house is inhabited by demons is a good idea, not getting the hell out.

Paranormal Activity 4 is currently in cinemas now, with a fifth instalment due next Halloween. I’m not a huge fan. I like my horror franchises to have an element of logic. I can accept Michael Myers surviving every attempt to send him back to Hell, and a genius Jigsaw who had the foresight to plan and build extra deadly challenges just in case he was killed, but investigating a haunting in your own house by installing video cameras and then editing the footage into a movie after you have been slain by your homely demon? Don’t be ridiculous.

Happy Halloween everyone!

Published in: on December 25, 2012 at 09:04  Leave a Comment  
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Famous Movie Horses: Melbourne Cup Day 2012

This column was originally published in the Central Western Daily on Tuesday 6th November 2012.

Another year, another Melbourne Cup Day… How times flies. I swear that it was only twelve months ago since the last one. For a solitary day each year, the nation suddenly believes that it knows something about horse racing and then proceeds to lose its pocket money, or more. In just 3200 metres, one horse will triumph and by mid-afternoon will be heralded by an entire country. The next day, its name will be a fairly tricky trivia question.

In honour of Melbourne Cup Day and the fact that this will be my last column, here are my three most memorable movie horses. Oh, you didn’t know? I’m apparently going to win Oz Lotto tonight. When I bought my ticket, the newsagent assured me that it was the winning one. I don’t see any reason why he would lie to me. If by some mistake, I do not win the jackpot, I guess I’ll see you here next week.

3. OK, this one is a bit of cheat. It’s a tie between two horses in the same movie, Mel Brooks’ comedy classic, Blazing Saddles. The first is the unfortunate nag knocked out cold by a single punch from the dim witted Mongo, played by Alex Karras. It was only on Karras’ death this year that I discovered that he also played the dad in the eighties TV sitcom Webster. The second is the horse in the hilarious hanging scene. A criminal is at the gallows, astride his steed, waiting to be hanged. Both have nooses around their necks.

2. I’m not a huge fan of movies that set out to tug the heartstrings. You know, films that should be issued with a box of tissues, such as Beaches, Ghost, The Notebook and Porky’s. Steven Spielberg is a master of this sort of cinematic emotional manipulation, which is why I went to the movies to see War Horse with some trepidation. There’s nothing I hate more than a dusty cinema. I’m pleased to announce that I survived the experience (just) and that Joey the horse easily outacted the two legged thespians. Joey was actually portrayed by fourteen different animal performers because it’s a well known fact that horses have difficulty remembering their lines.

1. Here’s a trivia question for you. Which year did Khartoum win the Melbourne Cup? The answer is that he didn’t, mainly because he is fictional and secondly, it is rather hard to race without a head. That’s right, Khartoum in the champion racehorse decapitated and placed in movie producer, Jack Woltz’s bed to convince him to cast Johnny Fontane in a lead role. This and even more mob shenanigans take place in the film classic The Godfather, directed by Francis Ford Coppola. Apparently the horse’s head was real and acquired for the shoot from a pet food company.

Also-rans in this race include Maximus from Tangled, Daredevil from Sleepy Hollow and Farfelkugel from Robin Hood: Men in Tights. Best of luck to everyone for the “race that stops a nation” and the “lottery that reaches amazing jackpots because it is near impossible to win”.

Published in: on December 25, 2012 at 08:59  Leave a Comment  
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The Empire Strikes Back: Disney Purchases Star Wars

Disney Star Wars 2

This column was originally published in the Central Western Daily on Tuesday 13th November 2012.

On October 30, the Walt Disney Company announced that they would be acquiring Lucasfilm, home of the Star Wars franchise. George Lucas, creator of beloved characters such as Yoda, Darth Vader, C3PO and R2D2, as well as Jar Jar Binks, was apparently contemplating retirement and had four billion reasons to sell his company. The first reason was a dollar. The second reason was a dollar. And so on.

Come to think of it, when you want to retire in the Star Wars universe, don’t you just disappear into thin air like Yoda and Obi Wan? I guess it’s a bit hard to spend your retirement nest egg when you’re a smiling glowing ghost.

Almost immediately after the announcement, the internet went into hyperdrive with opinions, jokes and amusing pictures from fans worldwide. As I didn’t have the photoshop skills to add Mickey Mouse ears to a picture of Darth Vader (plus half of the planet had already done it) here’s my hilarious contribution to the twitterverse:

Peter Young @chipsareready

What would Disney possibly want with the Star Wars franchise? They already have the successful Black Hole property… #DisneyStarWars

For those of you who don’t speak Geek, I’m referring to Disney’s woeful 1979 Star Wars ripoff, The Black Hole, starring Anthony Perkins (Psycho) and Ernest Borgnine (McHale’s Navy), and featuring the rather craptastic robot duo of V.I.N.C.E.N.T. and Old B.O.B., as well as the Vader-ish Maximilian.

In my head, Disney and Star Wars have been closely linked for years. Way back in the early 90’s, I lined up for hours to ride the Star Tours attraction at Disneyland. One of the first motion simulator rides, Star Tours offered space tourists a trip to the forest moon of Endor which inevitably goes awry when Imperial Star Destroyers attack. The ride has since been closed and replaced last year with a new attraction, Star Tours: The Adventures Continue, which incorporates high definition 3D graphics. Like all great intergalactic adventures, both the original and new Star Tours attractions end in the gift shop.

I don’t think Star Wars devotees have anything to worry about from the takeover by the (Disney) Empire. The Muppets have enjoyed a cinematic revival that satisfied long time fans under the House of Mouse. You also may have seen a small, low budget superhero flick called The Avengers earlier this year. And the name of the production company was…Marvel Studios, a subsidiary of the Walt Disney Company.

A new Star Wars movie, Episode VII, will be released in 2015. Screenwriter Michael Arndt (Little Miss Sunshine, Toy Story 3) has been attached to the project with the director yet to be named. The rumour mill suggests that the storyline may involve characters from the original trilogy.

As a big Star Wars fan, I have no concerns with Disney producing further Star Wars instalments. It’s not as if Lucas was particularly successful with his woeful prequel trilogy. It would be hard for Disney to do any worse. As the Star Wars franchise passes from the control of one Empire to another, rest assured that one universal constant will remain. It surrounds us and penetrates us. It binds the galaxy together… It’s the pursuit of profit.

Published in: on December 25, 2012 at 08:54  Leave a Comment  
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Film Review: Wreck-It Ralph

This column was originally published in the Central Western Daily on Tuesday 18th December 2012.

Aficionados of old school video games have plenty of reasons to hit the cinema this holiday season. Disney’s latest animated feature Wreck-It Ralph takes place inside a traditional video game arcade. Borrowing from the Toy Story trilogy, the film sees the characters of said games come to life when the arcade closes. Linked together by an intricate public transport system (the power supply), the characters interact and mingle inside a central station (a power board).

Ralph is the villain of the video game Fix-It Felix Jnr, a thinly-veiled Donkey Kong clone. Outside business hours, Ralph attends a support group for video game bad guys. Unable to accept his fate, Ralph wants to be become a hero and sets off to make his dreams come true; however, his actions soon threaten the very existence of the video games and their inhabitants.

During the support group scenes, gamers will geek out to cameos from many beloved video game franchise antagonists including Clyde the ghost from Pac-Man, Doctor Robotnik from Sonic the Hedgehog, Kano from Mortal Kombat, Zangief from Street Fighter and Bowser from Super Mario Bros.

From the opening image of the Disney logo rendered in 8 bit, veteran animation director Rich Moore (The Simpsons, Futurama) keeps the in-jokes coming for anyone old enough to remember when arcade games cost 20c, as well as ensuring there is an abundance of slapstick humour for the kiddies.

Like almost every animated feature nowadays, the voice talent for Wreck-It Ralph features several big name actors from the realms of television and film. John C. Reilly lends his dulcet tones (and likeness) to the titular character alongside comedian Sarah Silverman as the precocious kart driver Vanellope, 30 Rock’s Jack McBrayer as Ralph’s nemesis (and Mario clone) Felix and Glee’s Jane Lynch as a battle hardened Halo-ish soldier. Reilly and Silverman are perfectly cast, however, McBrayer and Lynch oddly channel their TV alter egos Kenneth Parcell and Sue Sylvester, respectively. I would have preferred that they try something different.

The visuals are spot-on. The game play of several iconic video games is lovingly recreated when we see them from a player’s perspective, and are beautifully rendered into detailed 3D environments when we enter the “real world” inside the games. The 3D (apparently compulsory for every animated feature nowadays) is fine but certainly not vital to your enjoyment of the film.

Don’t be late for your screening. Wreck-It Ralph is accompanied by Paperman, an excellent romantic animated short in black and white.

Wreck-It Ralph is great fun and easily my favourite animated feature of the year. I have a feeling that it may underperform at the box office this holiday season as it faces stiff competition from hobbits and warbling revolutionaries. Take a child and you’ll both love it for different reasons. Highly recommended.

Published in: on December 25, 2012 at 08:25  Leave a Comment  
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Taken for a ride – Review: Taken 2

This column was originally published in the Central Western Daily on Tuesday 16th October 2012.

“I don’t know who you are. I don’t know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don’t have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills. Skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter go now, that’ll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don’t, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you.”

With this ominous speech in 2008’s Taken, actor Liam Neeson completely altered his Hollywood persona from a serious dramatic actor to a bona fide action star. A surprise package, Taken was an unexpected hit at the box office. As retired CIA agent Bryan Mills, Neeson has only four days to track down his daughter, Kim, after she is kidnapped by Albanian human traffickers in Paris.

Using guns, knives, fists, torture and electricity, Neeson destroys 35 bad guys during the course of the movie. Taken is a bloody, violent affair which doesn’t attempt to hide the outcomes of combat, and I really enjoyed it.

Of course, a hit movie pretty much guarantees a sequel, and in the immortal words of Bruce Willis’ John McClane  in Die Hard 2, “How can the same s**t happen to the same guys twice?” Well, Willis is now onto his fifth Die Hard film and last week, Neeson returned to the silver screen as Bryan Mills in Taken 2.

Unfortunately, if like me you prefer your brawn to come with brains, you’ll be disappointed with Taken 2 as it’s possibly one of the most stupid films of the year. This time, Neeson takes his ex-wife and daughter (Famke Janssen and Maggie Grace, reprising their roles from the original) to Istanbul where they are targeted by the revenge seeking relatives of the deceased Albanians from the first film, led by Rade Serbedzija (best known for playing Dmitri Gredenko in season 6 of 24 and numerous other eastern European baddies).

Vengeful relatives travelling to improbable locations in a movie sequel? That would be the plot of the craptastic Jaws: The Revenge (1987) stolen wholesale. In fact, I think I’d rather watch Michael Caine make a shark explode by hitting it with a boat than watch Taken 2 again.

As an insult to intelligent Albanian human traffickers everywhere, the film also utilises the ridiculous plot conceit from the original camp Batman TV series. With known lethal weapon Neeson captured and tied up with his ex-wife in a basement, the villains reveal their plans, set up a death trap for the pair and happily leave them to escape.

Rubbing salt into our wounds, to broaden the potential audience, the violence has been toned down to an M rating, alienating the action movies fans who championed the original in the first place.

Neeson turned 60 this year, which surely makes him eligible for membership in The Expendables. Despite this, Taken 3 seems inevitable. In the meantime, go and see Looper instead, or better still, rewatch the original.

Published in: on October 23, 2012 at 11:14  Leave a Comment  
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Halloween Movie Franchises: John Carpenter’s Halloween

This column was originally published in the Central Western Daily on Tuesday 23rd October 2012.

On October 25 1978, a low budget slasher film made its debut in US cinemas. John Carpenter’s Halloween was produced for a paltry sum of US$325,000 and eventually grossed $55 million at the box office worldwide. Introducing masked serial killer Michael Myers to popular culture, no babysitter was safe in this classic horror flick.

Halloween starred a young Jamie Lee Curtis as Laurie Strode, Michael’s sister and the object of his (murderous) intentions. On the killer’s trail was Donald Pleasance as psychiatrist Dr Sam Loomis. Complete with a spooky piano melody, composed by Carpenter himself, the movie is genuinely creepy and still provides “watch through your fingers” scares decades later.

The original Halloween spun off seven sequels, and was rebooted in 2007 by musician turned film director Rob Zombie, which in turn spawned a sequel. To date, the franchise has generated over $366 million worldwide. Not bad for a series of films featuring a lead character wearing a Captain Kirk rubber mask sprayed with white spray paint.

Each entry of the Halloween story was released on or around, not surprisingly, Halloween, thus beginning not one, but two traditions: scary movie franchises released at Halloween; and scary movie franchises released at Halloween with diminishing returns.

Three years after the original, Michael Myers returned in Halloween II. Picking up immediately after the events of the first film, Myers survived six bullets from Dr Loomis’ gun to continue stalking Laurie.  The following October, Halloween III: Season of the Witch was unleashed on unsuspecting fans. Intended to shift the franchise into an anthology of unrelated horror films, the film features a plot to kill thousands of children at Halloween with deadly latex skeleton, witch and jack-o’-lantern masks. How are the masks deadly? They have evil powers because they are each embedded with a tiny chip of Stonehenge. Insert your own sound of crickets chirping here.

Unsurprisingly, Myers was resurrected in 1988 for Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers. Unfortunately, this and the next two sequels all hail from the late eighties, a period that was not kind to horror franchises. With box office returns shrinking, desperate film companies churned out substandard, low budget Freddy, Jason, Jaws, Chucky and Halloween flicks.

In 1998 the series peaked again as Jamie Lee Curtis returned for Halloween H2O: 20 Years Later. With an original star onboard, the film picks up the Laurie Strode storyline again, finding her hiding from her now infamous brother at a posh private school. Of course, Myers tracks her down and mayhem ensues, but at least the storyline had some weight due to Curtis’ presence, unlike the cast of unknown victims from the previous sequels.

Four years later, the original Halloween canon concluded with a disappointing whimper, as Myers returns to his childhood home to find it the subject of a Big Brother-like television show. After so many brushes with death, serial killer Michael Myers is finally sent to hell by the incredibly terrible acting of rapper turned “actor” Busta Rhymes.

I’m not a big fan of the Rob Zombie reboot so I won’t discuss it here. I have no interest in back story or motivation when it comes to my movie killers. Call me old fashioned.

For a real Halloween treat this, er, Halloween, grab a copy of the original, er, Halloween on blu-ray and relive the mother of all slasher films in high definition. Next week, I’ll discuss more recent movie franchises to also capitalise on Halloween releases. Boo!

Published in: on October 23, 2012 at 11:11  Leave a Comment  
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Box Set Bonanza 2012

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This column was originally published in the Central Western Daily on Tuesday 2nd October 2012.

Every October, dark forces return to unleash unspeakable horrors upon our supermarket and department store shelves. No, I’m not talking about Halloween. I mean the Christmas merchandise that’s already started to appear in our stores. So if it’s good enough for a multinational corporation, it’s good enough for me. In preparation for the silly season, here are my picks for the best box sets to buy for your favourite movie fanatic (or Tuesday columnist).

If too much Bond is never enough, grab Bond 50 – The James Bond Collection which celebrates half a century of Bond adventures with 22 films on 22 discs. If you buy the blu-ray set, there’s also an extra disc full of exclusive new content. Unfortunately, the non-canon Never Say Never Again from 1983 is not included, which is a shame because I’d gladly exchange it for the invisible car and wooden Madonna performance from Die Another Day. With the latest Band mission, Skyfall, hitting cinemas in November, a space has been generously left in the box for you to complete your collection next year. You can then rest easy knowing you own every single minute of Bond goodness, until the next movie is announced and you’ll have to buy a new box set. Start saving your money, Penny.

Speaking of great franchises, Indiana Jones has finally taken the leap to high definition. Indiana Jones – The Complete Adventures features all three original films on beautiful blu-ray, plus an extra disc chock full of bonus stuff. The films have been remastered under the supervision of Steven Spielberg, with Raiders of the Lost Ark receiving a complete restoration from the original print and sound mix. The set also includes a special Indiana Jones coaster. You can protect your tabletops knowing that The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull has finally found a useful purpose.

The Universal Monsters Collection on blu-ray celebrates the 100th anniversary of Universal Studios by unleashing some of its iconic creature features in high definition. Featuring a 48 page book and 8 discs, I can’t wait to get my hands on this one and experience horror classics Dracula, Frankenstein, The Mummy, The Invisible Man, Bride of Frankenstein, The Wolf Man and Phantom of the Opera for the first time. Best of all, The Creature from the Black Lagoon will make his (or is it her, or its) debut in blu-ray 3D.

Finally, the master of suspense has been given a high definition makeover to bring you Alfred Hitchcock – The Masterpiece Collection. The box set features 14 Hitchcock  classics including Rear Window, Frenzy, Psycho and Vertigo, plus every ornithophobe’s favourite, The Birds.  There is also 15 hours of bonus content for your enjoyment. Strangely, my favourite Hitchcock flick, North by Northwest, is not featured. Neither is Gus Van Sant’s disastrous 1998 shot for shot remake of Psycho, which is good thing.

One last thing, all of these box sets are labelled as limited editions. This is a rather meaningless marketing term nowadays so don’t rush out and buy them all just in case. With all of the above around or above the $100 mark, the limiting factor may well be your wallet.

Published in: on October 9, 2012 at 00:52  Leave a Comment  
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